The importance of reframing

So I just watched this Ted Talk and one of the speaker's four pillars is storytelling; e.g. how the story you tell yourself is the one you'll believe, and the one that will affect you. And that got me thinking, of all things, of our Fiji holiday...

Tokoriki Island.jpg

We went to Tokoriki Island at the end of June. Tokoriki is amazing! It was our second time there, and Amelie's first. We were so looking forward to seeing the friends we made there last time and introducing them to Amelie, to enjoying island fries and fruity cocktails by the pool, to getting out on the water, to laying around reading in the sun...

Have you seen where we went wrong yet?

As literally everyone in the world except us knows, apparently, holidays with a toddler are quite a different beast. As in, they're not really holidays in any true sense of the word.

Our first couple of days on Tokoriki were actually kind of rough (I know I sound like a jerk saying that about our holiday on a beautiful tropical island, but bear with me). Amelie's schedule was disrupted and she was very unwilling to partake in the activities we wanted to do, preferring instead to run as fast as she could towards certain danger and yell at us when we saved her. H1 and I both wanted to enjoy our holiday so got cranky – with Amelie, and with each other.

On night two we reframed it. Amelie was in bed, and we were sitting outside on the porch of our villa having a glass of wine and chatting. We were exhausted, but we decided that as our toddler was, in fact, a toddler, with all attendant toddler proclivities, we just had to go with it. We agreed that once a day one of us would be 'on' and the other one could relax, and then we would swap. The rest of the day would be spent on family activities – swimming, or playing on the beach, or eating (I will come back to the eating in another post. It could probably be two posts all on its own, to be honest).

Fiji pool.jpg

And the rest of the holiday was SO.MUCH.EASIER. I mean, it was still hard – toddler! – but it felt so much easier. Because we had realised the only thing we could change was our thinking.

This feels like a good thing to reflect on in this end-of-winter-not-quite-spring Auckland dreariness! And it's also a nice opportunity to revisit our lovely winter holiday. Did you get away? What about reframing – have you had opportunity or reason to focus on this recently?