You may have noticed that my posting has been a bit irregular over the last few weeks. If you haven't, please don't let me know. In my head, you're all checking this site twice a day, gnashing your teeth and wailing dramatically if there is no new post awaiting your eager consumption. Please rest assured that this hasn't just been out of laziness. Well, it has, but it's the sort of laziness and inertia that comes about when other things in your life are so big and so scary and so almost unbelievable that you can't focus on anything. I've had those sorts of things in my life recently – and as a result, all my other priorities have slipped way down the list.
All things have been considered now, though, all the scary big decisions have been made*, and all the questions in my head have been replaced by the nagging feeling that I should really do what I do, and blog. So here you go – the quality time edition.
That quality time refers to time spent with H1, which is what I'm going to be focusing on this weekend, because in a few weeks I'll be making use of a one-way ticket back to New Zealand – by myself.
As I always do at this point of the story, I'd like to hasten to add that H1 and I are fine. Rock-solid. No divorces here, no siree! However, we will be living in different countries for the next couple of years...22 months, to be exact (and I am being very exact, trust me. There will be many a countdown app downloaded over the next little while, I suspect).
So why are we doing this? The reasons are strong, but that didn't make this decision any easier. H1 and I both see our future as being based in New Zealand, at least most of the time. New York is amazing – a fantastic place – but it's a super-difficult place to live, for all the reasons that you'd suspect – crowded, expensive, extreme, over-the-top, a constant struggle. Living the sort of life we want to live, long-term, would be next to impossible here.
Currently, however, H1 has a thriving business here, which would stop thriving awfully quickly if he were to take off now. I, on the other hand, enjoyed either a mini quarter-life crisis (a few years too late) or a mini mid-life crisis (a few – quite a few – years too early) a couple of months ago, which led to a boring amount of introspective thinking, an awesome amount of list-making, and an in-depth description to H1 of exactly what I wanted out of my career next. Where I wanted to work; what I wanted to do while there; my overall aims...
I was offered that job mere weeks later. But it was in Auckland, New Zealand.
H1 and I went around on this decision for ages. Hours and hours and hours were devoted to talking about what was the right thing to do, the best thing, the thing that would make us both happy, happier, happiest, how we would make it work, whether it could work...and so on, and so on. By now, you're probably thinking you're a bit bored of reading about our decision-making process. Try living it.
Obviously, we made a decision. The scary decision. Even though I choke up with tears every time I even vaguely think about the fact that H1 will no longer be next to me every time I wake up, or sitting across from me over dinner every night (or bringing me coffee every morning. Let's be honest) I think it's the right decision. I will be living in New Zealand, working away on my career, and getting our life back in Auckland ready for our next step. H1 will be living in New York, getting his business to a place of such awesomeness that he is totally surplus to requirements, and can therefore also come back to NZ. In the interim, there's Skype, phones, text messaging, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter...and NZ's awesome annual leave policy, which will enable us to see each other once every three months. Not enough, but not bad.
So in other words, it's time for me to change my about section again! Can I count it as bicoastal if there's also an enormous chunk of ocean in between those two coasts?
If any of you have ever done a long-distance relationship and have any tips, I'd love to hear them. Let me know all and any advice, no matter how ridiculous! (In fact, the more ridiculous the better).
*For this period of my life, anyway. No doubt there'll be more waiting for me somewhere down the road.